Yo Momma Geek Jokes

The worlds first (not really) your mom jokes with a geek twist. These jokes were created by the collaborative efforts of Ed Riggers, Dave Gibson, and Colin Pear! They are so lame they just grow on yah!

  1. Your mom is so dumb she tried to ride the Service Bus to church.
  2. Your momma’s so dumb she thought that all the IP address were rest areas between here and Sacramento.
  3. Your mom’s so fat she tried to eat her Linux kernel.
  4. Your mom’s so dumb she asked her computer kernel to fry her up some chicken.
  5. Your momma’s so dumb that when I asked her for her MAC address she gave me the location of the nearest Mc. Donald’s.
  6. Your mom’s so dumb when I asked if she had an SSID she said don’t worry we’ll use protection.
  7. Your mommas so dumb she went to the zoo to get more RAM.
  8. Your mom’s so dumb she asked me if her computer processor could slice and dice too.
  9. Your mom’s so dumb when I told her she had a nice Dell she said honey that’s a computer not a taco.
  10. Your moms so dumb she asked me to get some worms from her computer so she could go fishing.
  11. Yo momma’s so dumb she got a saddle for her Trojan horse.
  12. Yo momma’s password is so weak you could crack it with a toothpick.
  13. Your moms so dumb she uses her car key for asymmetric encryption.
  14. Your mom is so ugly that a whois query won’t even do a look up on her.
  15. Your mom is so dumb she thought a runtime error was something that happens when you’re sitting on the toilet.
  16. Your mom is so stupid she tried looking for the Indian living in her SMTP.
  17. Your mom’s so fat, she thought 256 bytes was a new diet.
  18. Your mom’s so dumb, she got out her Dr. Scholl’s shoe inserts when I told her to boot into safe mode.
  19. Your mom’s so dirty, she thought a debugger would get rid of all those roaches she lives with.
  20. Your mom’s so cheesy, she thought a third-party extension was something she could pick up at the adult toy store.
  21. Your mom’s so dumb, she thought an al-gor-ithm was something that former Vice President Al Gore invented, like the Internet.
  22. Your mom is so dumb, when I asked for her al-gor-ithm she said, Global warming.
  23. Your moms so dumb she thought her pop account came with free soda.
  24. Your mom is so dumb she thought broadband was a new pant size.
  25. Your moms so dumb she tried to clean the grease out of her spam filter.
  26. Your mom is so dumb she thought she could talk to the dead on the Ethernet.
  27. Yo momma is so dumb she took her Nikes off when she got a run-time error.

Two ways to increase your websites return on investment (ROI)

Want to increase the ROI of your web site? Well here are 2 simple ways:

  • Improve your sites search engine optimization (SEO) – make your website visible to search engines.
  • Improve your sites usability – make your site easier to use and more efficient.

In layman’s terms: you can increase your ROI by increasing the traffic to your web site. And, make it as easy as possible for that traffic to make its way to your goods and services.

“It doesn’t matter how good your content is, nor how pretty your web site looks, or even how cool the new Flash functionality works. If users can’t find it, it doesn’t exist. If they can’t find it, they cannot convert [from leads to sales]” (re:cognition).

Check out this aticle: The Benefits of Usability and SEO. It provides an in depth look at these 2 concepts.

The Story of The Old Blacksmith

Once there was an old, mean, and ugly blacksmith who thought he knew how to do everything. One day he decided he would start marketing his business online by building a website. The blacksmiths apprentice told him to hire Pear Web® – Ye Old Web Design and Schnapps Shoppe to build his web site. The blacksmith turned his nose up at the idea and decided to build it himself. After all he was an accomplished blacksmith! He could do anything.

The blacksmith built his website and business remained the same. The blacksmith gained no new clients, and actually began to lose customers to his competitor Horatio Iron Tongs who did hire Pear Web to build his site.

The blacksmith tried to recover some ground by hiring his sister-in-laws teenage nephew Bartholomew the Scrawny to redo his site for $200 bucks. While Bartholomew did improve the site visually a bit it still was not even close to the quality he would need to attract new business.

Unfortunately the blacksmith started losing money at a tremendous rate because he lowered his image by associating his name and his business with a poorly developed website. People associated the shoddy website with shoddy service.

The blacksmith closed the doors to his business and died a lonely old man with no friends, no possessions, and no money. Even his dog left him and it was all because he was to stubborn to hire the professionals at Pear Web to build his website.

The End.

Can you afford not to have a website?

Are you one of the few business out there who don’t have a website? Or maybe you have a website you built your self. Have you considered the repercussions of not having a professional web design firm like Pear Web build your site for you?

According to Pew Internet and the American Life Project, 70% of adults in the U.S. are online (Pew Internet). This means that your companies potential business is on the web. And if you don’t have a website then you better believe that your competition does. You are already behind and have a lot of ground to cover. Luckily we can help! Its time to start competing online for your revenue with a custom built website designed to intrigue and capture your target audience. Fill out our easy form now  for a free quote.

Free JavaScript Date Picker

So about a week or two ago I spent a lot of time looking for a Free JavaScript date picker and was unsuccessful. You know the kind I am talking about. Like the one you find on an HTML form next to the date field that lets you fill the field in by clicking on a date. Well, all the ones I found were too complicated, looked ugly, or just didn’t work right. So I made one myself. The date picker can be used and downloaded for free from the JavaScript section on Pear Web. It has been released under the GNU Public License (GPL) so it can be modified used and redistributed according to the rules of the license. Feel free to contact me, Colin Pear, if you need help editing or modifying it. I don’t care what it gets used for as long as I get credit for originating it. Have fun!